Back Rowe Reviews
Real Time Movie Reviews from the Back Row of a Theater

Million Dollar Arm (PG)

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Directed by: Craig Gillespie
Starring: Jon Hamm
May 2014

This review was originally tweeted in Real-time from the back row of a movie theater and appears @BackRoweReviews. Though efforts were made to tease rather than ruin this movie’s memorable lines and moments, some spoilers may exist in the following evaluation. The original tweets appear in black, while follow-up comments appear in red. For concerns over objectionable content, please first refer to one of the many parental movie guide websites. All ratings are based on a four star system. Happy reading!

Million Dollar Arm
Million Dollar Baby was already taken, so Disney settled on Arm. Don’t believe a word I say.

“A highly improbable challenge” to turn a cricket bowler into a baseball pitcher.
With unlimited time and money, this feat might be attainable. But training two Indian teens (who have never even touched a baseball before) to become pitchers on a professional baseball team within one year would be a ludicrous proposition, right? Keep watching.

“Indians love honking and bypassing the system.”
This makes for a funny scene, but I wonder how many Indians would feel mischaracterized by this statement. The two Indian lads (neither of whom like cricket, which exposes another stereotype imposed upon Indians…that they all love cricket) observe that Hamm’s character is always hustling. By extension, making the comment that all Americans maintain a fast pace of life would be an equally prejudicial remark to the one quoted above.

Tryout day. Long lines of low velocity throwers. Arkin gets plenty of shut eye.
As always, Arkin is a hoot in this movie. He seems to be Hollywood’s go-to actor for playing a curmudgeon with a heart. As a side note, I was in the audience when Arkin introduced a movie he starred in at this year’s TCM Film Fest. The “real” Arkin seems far less irascible than his frequent onscreen personas, but every once in a while I detected a hint of that patented back east brusqueness.

The last contestant is called “The Flamingo.” Aptly named.

The double hurl scene is disgusting.
I’d trade my sports car in for a minivan after that too. Can you really ever get the smell out?

Finger cut shouldn’t effect the cutter.
Correction: affect, not effect. Didn’t have time to reason it out.

All of India will be watching. No pressure.

Tough sledding in Tempe.
Arkin’s ploy with the Pirates’ scout not only keeps the Indian boys’ dreams alive, it also saves Hamm’s bacon. Er…

“Thank you” meal is a sweet scene.

Final analysis: a predictable, yet heartwarming true sports story.

Rating:
2 1/2 out of 4 stars. The footage of the actual players during the end credits is a nice touch.

Though there isn’t anything earth-shattering in the movie, it tells a mildly intriguing tale of courage in the face of impossible odds. There’s virtually no narrative complexity here and the characterizations are fairly cardboard, except for Lake Bell’s next door nurse, whose compassion and honesty lend the film the smallest modicum of genuine human emotion. The uncomplicated plot and a cause and effect, some might even call it paint-by-numbers, story line render the movie predictable at every turn. Those who prefer straightforward stories with lollipops and roses endings will be pleased to no end with this movie. Those who prefer more complexity and artistry in their entertainment will find this film borderline insufferable. There’s no doubt that the follow-your-dreams elements are a tremendous asset to the movie, as is the location footage shot in India, but the sum total here is far less than it could’ve been…and one could justifiably blame Disney’s family friendly formula for that. Is the film inspirational? Undeniably. Is it as inspirational as other Disney sports films such as The Rookie (2002) and Miracle (2004)? Not even close. Like the early efforts of the Indian pitchers, this movie is slow and out of the strike zone.