The Wolverine (PG-13)
13/03/14 21:33 Filed in: 2013
Starring: Hugh Jackman
July 2013
This review was originally tweeted in Real-time from the back row of a movie theater and appears @BackRoweReviews. Though efforts were made to tease rather than ruin this movie’s memorable lines and moments, some spoilers may exist in the following evaluation. The original tweets appear in black, while follow-up comments appear in red. For concerns over objectionable content, please first refer to one of the many parental movie guide websites. All ratings are based on a four star system. Happy reading!
Logan is in the box...River Kwai style.
How about some extra crispy Wolverine as an appetizer?
Guess it’s true what they say...a Wolverine can take down a bear.
Why does Wolvie need a sword? He already has six blades.
Ceremonial, I suppose.
A scrub in the tub, some grooming and there’s the Logan we know.
The old man’s adjustable bed is awesome! Who needs memory foam?
“Time for you to go back to your cave.” Them’s fightin’ words.
Many deaths at the funeral and an assist from the Asian Hawkeye.
Logan treats his bullet wounds on a bullet train.
Sometimes I just can’t help myself.
Fight atop the train is spectacular!
Mission to Mars it is.
Not the mediocre 2000 movie with Gary Sinise.
Beware the blonde with the acid breath.
Always good advice.
I knew the bit about the planted chopsticks.
I’d gladly chop a fallen tree for that smile.
Especially if I had Logan’s physical prowess.
Logan is a ronin--a good description of his existence.
Doing open-heart surgery on yourself...ouch.
Apparently Wolvie took an extension course in heart surgery before joining the X-Men.
“Is that all the men you brought?” Clint Eastwood would be proud.
Wolvie’s taking on more arrows than Boromir.
Did Poison Ivy cross over from the DC universe?
A giant adamantium samurai...now things are getting cartoony.
The big metal guy reminds me of the giant robot in the first Thor movie.
Final analysis: certainly not the worst superhero movie, but far from the best.
Greatly benefits from its Asian backdrop.
But does this locale work for a Wolverine film? What it gains in exotic appeal it looses in suitability for the character.
Honestly, the mid end credit bonus scene was more intriguing than the entire film.
Rating: 2 1/2 out of 4 stars. Sets up well but has a weak ending. A soufflé with a few missing ingredients.
Although this film is unquestionably better than X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), it still doesn’t measure up to the quality of the X-Men films. As a standalone episode, this movie works just fine…“The One Where Wolvie Goes to Asia.” But where does this film land in Wolvie’s chronology? What major character revelations do we learn here? How many more X-Men movies will 20th Century Fox get out of Jackman since he’s not only getting older, but also more accomplished as an A-list leading man? Though a decent entry into the character’s personal back story, it’s equivalent to an average storyline in the comic books. Certainly the writers could’ve culled the comics for a more exciting, more cinematic story than this one.