Back Rowe Reviews
Real Time Movie Reviews from the Back Row of a Theater

Pacific Rim (PG-13)

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Directed by: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud
Starring: Steve Carell
July 2013

This review was originally tweeted in Real-time from the back row of a movie theater and appears @BackRoweReviews. Though efforts were made to tease rather than ruin this movie’s memorable lines and moments, some spoilers may exist in the following evaluation. The original tweets appear in black, while follow-up comments appear in red. For concerns over objectionable content, please first refer to one of the many parental movie guide websites. All ratings are based on a four star system. Happy reading!


Pasted Graphic 10
…with a microscopic plot.

Despite being a fan of del Toro’s earlier films, I’m dubious about this one.

A Transformers vs. Godzilla premise seems anemic and the trailer looks too similar to last year’s
Battleship.
In the end, this film might be a hairsbreadth better than Battleship. But that still isn’t saying much.

Jäger bot appears as a giant Ironman.
Correction: Iron Man.

Face-off over a fishing boat.
Whoever wins, I’m pretty sure the boat will lose.

“Wall of Life” is one of the daftest security measures ever conceived.

Why do the creatures attack cities? The entire population of a metropolis would only make one good meal?

Scientist “drifts” with a creature. The key to our survival?

A
BSG rip-off...digital vs. analog technology.
In the pilot film of Battlestar Galactica (2003) that sold the show to Sy-fy, Cylons hack into the computers aboard the Colonial Vipers and immobilize them. To stem the tide of the invasion, the colonists must pull the old, pre-computer Vipers out of mothballs in order to repel the Cylon advance.

Didn’t we just see the mass destruction of a city in Man of Steel?

Pearlman becomes baby’s first meal.

“Today we are canceling the apocalypse.” One of the most stilted lines I’ve heard in some time.
An awful line that made me grimace even when I first heard it in the trailer.

Elba’s entire speech is a cheap imitation of Aragorn’s in The Return of the King.

Wind sound effects underwater?
Well, I guess as long as we have explosions in outer space…

Final analysis: have we finally reached the threshold for the scale of a big budget film?
My fondest wish.

FX are amazing, especially underwater, but the story and characterizations are razor thin.

Rating:
2 out of 4 stars, which is generous for this significantly flawed creature feature.
It’s hard to know where to start with this one. This movie is a profound disappointment owing largely to the fact that del Toro is such an accomplished director with a brilliant sci-fi/fantasy/horror imagination. Very little of that imagination is evident here in what amounts to a contrived action first/story last near future monster vs. technology movie. Character development is flaccid and the dialog is downright abysmal. There isn’t a single aspect of this movie that’s compelling (save for the evocative title which is wasted on this mediocre affair). The movie is just an egregious waste of money and resources…and, worst of all, the audience’s time. The story earns 1 star and the FX garners 3 stars, so a rating of 2, which still seems too high, is fair I suppose.